January Elegy #1

I wish I had thought of it before now – a year of elegies, one for every month since you died until we get to July. Perhaps July gets 2? But I didn’t think of it until just now. And I hadn’t thought about elegies at all until Lana sent one about Bluebells and you … Continue reading January Elegy #1 →

Spoon

I gave you my back as he gave me his: I wanted to be held without holding. I wanted to be touched without touching. I wanted to be kissed without kissing, to be bitten, to be clenched, and pressed. And you did. You bumped your head against me. Like a cat, you pointed out. And … Continue reading Spoon →

Remembering Summer on the 1 – #26

September 15 1. I was vaguely reading all of the signs in the car - because words are like that, demanding to be read, sometimes begging, sometimes pleading - when I saw the message that surprised me with its unexpected positive directive adjacent to the negative one: Do Hold Each Other/Do Not Lean On The … Continue reading Remembering Summer on the 1 – #26 →

Marriage (Incomplete) – #25

August 29 2. When I told you I was pregnant, you told me to come back to get married. I had sent a letter. Your brother in law still has it. I guess I would keep such a thing too. So he and Suartini still remember how I described Julian, then a tight, nameless bundle … Continue reading Marriage (Incomplete) – #25 →

Sting – #24

August 28 1. I felt an electric shock in my left palm at the base of my thumb. 2. I dropped the phone. There was a yellow jacket underneath, huddled, dying. I had poisoned it. It poisoned me back. 3. If I were (like) my father, or you, would I have died then, in my … Continue reading Sting – #24 →

Body of Spice – #16

July 9 1. I put away the black pepper; I can't remember what part of the body is its correlative - freckles? Moles on the skin? 2. When the priest's wife died, she willed herself to depart on the full moon, an auspicious day, appropriate for a holy woman. The full moon is when the … Continue reading Body of Spice – #16 →

Spice – #15

July 8 1. The counter is too high in this kitchen for me to straighten my arm and use my weight to crush the ingredients of my spice paste (bumbu). I can't put my mortar on the floor because there is no door on the kitchen and the puppies will come in. 2. When I … Continue reading Spice – #15 →

Tiny Events & the Palace of Memories

June 27 I started out thinking about language, about how sentences can be structured differently to describe the same event. I was interested in that. And while I'm still interested in that, it's not where I want to focus my attention now, though I'm just a short distance into this project. I'm confident this is … Continue reading Tiny Events & the Palace of Memories →

Black Raspberry – #12

June 26 1. It's good to walk on quiet roads. I found a black raspberry bush (2) and foraged 3 berries - 2 unripe. 2. I found a black raspberry bush. The last one before this one was in Spain 3. I picked black raspberries once in New Hampshire and remembering them makes me think, … Continue reading Black Raspberry – #12 →